I like starting new projects almost as much as I like abandoning projects. This is going to be my new project for a while. I don’t even know which project I’m abandoning for this one yet, but farewell to other projects I can’t even remember the name of or if you even exist. Farewell.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about starting over, starting from scratch, of being a person who made some progress in life over the last few years, and feeling like I’m at a plateau, coasting too much, or realizing that in the pursuit of other progress, some things have been left behind.
I’m generally annoyed with myself for one of three reasons, there are plenty of others, but these are the ones that we’ll be talking about here:
- I am not running enough
- I am not reading enough
- I am not writing enough
1. I am not running enough
Running is my preferred form of exercise because I am cheap and easily winded. It’s effective, over quickly, and requires zero investment. I love running. I used to weigh a lot more than I do now and running is mostly the reason I lost the weight. I’ve run a few half marathons and other distance events, etc, and it was a nice part of my life for a while. Then I moved to Pennsylvania and more or less stopped running altogether.
I used to live in California where it is perfect. The weather is 68 degrees and sunny every day with zero humidity. Exercising is at its absolute easiest in California. Don’t feel like running? Go for a hike along the most beautiful stretch of coastline you’ve ever seen in your whole dumb life. You can still eat poorly in California, but it’s easier to eat healthily.
I now live in Pennsylvania where it is fine. It’s ok, but there’s weather here. The portions are giant and my cholesterol is sky high. It’s hilly and rainy and cold and humid and everyone is furious all the time. Also, as a side note, I think there’s a group of Jeep owners who are also maybe white supremacists? They call themselves the Infidel Jeepers. This isn’t related to my running journey, but it’s worth mentioning because I don’t know what it is and maybe someone does. People who drive Jeeps with Infidel Jeepers stickers which are surrounded by Punisher skull stickers, don’t tread on me bullshit. Anyway, it’s different here, is my point. It’s culturally very different and food is a cornerstone of culture. You can still eat healthily in PA, but it’s easier to eat poorly.
It could all be in my head, but for a long time, it felt like I was simultaneously the unhealthiest person I knew in California and the healthiest person I knew in Pennsylvania.
When I moved back to Pennsylvania, the humidity and the rain and the cold and the scary jeeps all became enough of an obstacle for me to not bother with it anymore. I still ran here and there, but I slowly fell out of the habit and just started gaining weight again.
I just started running again. I had to start back at C25k. It was demoralizing. I figure I should write about it. I’ll be documenting the climb back to running regularly here. I’m currently at week six of C25k. It’s brutal and I’m so out of shape. Look forward to blog posts about shin splints or my feet hurting or my general oldness. I don’t know what this will be.
2. I am not reading enough
I don’t really read anymore. I can’t blame this on PA or any type of weird bumper sticker alliance. I just slowly started staring at my iPad all the time. During the pandemic, I really wanted to better myself, like everyone else, but mostly I stared at youtube. I have a thing I want to write about this, maybe in a later post, how I slowly just watched wholesome youtube videos about video games for the duration of the pandemic, he says as though the pandemic was over. Honestly not upset about it, but I miss reading. I miss books.
I’m in the middle of Black Leopard, Red Wolf. I’m going to finish it by the weekend. I’ll write a post next Sunday about it, and my running experience for the week. After that, I have a stack of AWP books to get through, the sequel to BLRW, and a hundred other things. I just want to make reading a primary part of my life again. I don’t have a focus right now. I’m mostly just working at a job I’m maybe getting laid off from, maybe buying a new house, ignoring the old pandemic, ignoring the new pandemic, etc.
Sneak preview of my review of BLRW: It’s good! Most of my book reviews are going to be like my preferred youtube content these days: wholesome, devoid of deep thought, friendly, soothing.
3. I am not writing enough
For a while I was writing a flash piece every week, I feel like I was doing that for a long time but in reality, it was only about a year and most of those pieces were published. I want to get back to that but for now, I will resolve the writing drought by writing these posts. I’m also doing a word west writing workshop in the fall that I’m excited about. I also write for a living but that doesn’t count for some reason.
Anyway, I’m off now. I’ll post something Sunday. Please do not join a jeep cult before then.